


No Angel

by mishasan7



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, F/M, Foreplay, Humor, Inspired by a Trailer, Lucifer cockblocked by his own wings, Queerplatonic Relationships, Wings, horror movie nods, sorry it's not Deckerstar but they're on a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 16:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12324801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishasan7/pseuds/mishasan7
Summary: Lucifer brings a companion up to the penthouse for the evening and gets cockblocked by his own wings.





	No Angel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SueBob99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SueBob99/gifts).



Rosie loved Lux. She loved the feel of the place, the hedonistic abandon, the eclectic mix of music, perving on the hot bartenders, and had also recently discovered a fondness for climbing up and dancing on the tables. Lux was like a metaphor for anything-goes Los Angeles, and she finally felt like she fit in somewhere.

She was fun, outgoing, and had an open heart and adventurous spirit that drew people to her. She loved people, especially when they surprised her, and it hadn’t taken her long to make new friends after moving to LA.

There were so many different kinds of people living here! It had been a real eye opener, to say the least, when she’d moved to the city, but she was absolutely loving it. The exhilarating freedom of finally moving away from home and leaving behind all those stupid rules and petty, small-minded people was intoxicating.

She didn’t know what she’d have done without Dee, her flatmate, to help guide her through it all. He was the sweetest, funniest, wildest guy she’d ever met and they were having a ball. They’d road tripped to Vegas, gone to San Diego Comic-Con together, had even got ink done! Rosie had surprised herself.

And tonight Dee had brought her along to LA’s hottest nightspot, Lux. They’d saved up for weeks to be able to afford it and had gone all out; Dee had even loaned her his most fabulous dressing-up dress; a red silk, thigh-split concoction that hugged in all the right places and made Rosie feel like a movie star. They laughed and drank and danced away the hours.

And sometime after midnight the Dress worked further magic; she even managed to catch Lucifer Morningstar’s eye. She couldn’t believe it.

Dee had told her all about him and Rosie had seen him many times on TV, but still she was floored by just how mesmerising he was in person. He’d come over for a chat and gotten her and Dee drinks; Rosie liked him straight away because he was a perfect gentleman to both of them. Many men weren’t as accepting of Dee, she’d found. She hated to think what her dickhole highschool classmates would have said about him.

They talked with Lucifer about all kinds of things; music, random geekery, literature, and Rosie laughed her ass off when he told a dirty joke in perfect Spanish. Dee was fangirling so hard he was about ready to faint.

And then when Lucifer had murmured an invitation in her ear Rosie’s knees had literally gone weak.

Dee had of course told her to go for it, although he’d had a wistful look in his eyes as he’d headed off and they’d headed upstairs. They'd barely set foot in the elevator and their hands were all over each other, mouths and tongues exploring, caressing, fingers fumbling with clothing.

 _Oh wow_ , Rosie thought, her back up against the elevator wall with Lucifer’s face buried in her neck, _he really is good at this..._

She was so preoccupied she only managed to get half his shirt buttons undone by the time they reached the top floor.

He backed her out of the elevator, mouth on hers and one hand sneaking through the thigh split of her dress to massage her ass. Then she stopped, put a hand on his chest and backed away. Then she turned with a brazen smile to head up the steps into his bedroom. He followed her, grinning, and finished taking off his own shirt. He threw it aside and stood expectantly before her.

She smiled demurely and bent over to expose her cleavage as she unbuckled her heels and slowly slid them off. Then she stood up, loosening her hair and letting the lustrous dark locks spill over her shoulders. She turned slowly around, exposing the long line of her graceful back to him, and slowly lowered the zipper of her dress. She heard him softly mutter _bloody hell_ when he spotted her tattoo and she grinned to herself. She gradually let the slippery silk of her dress puddle on the floor at her feet then turned to flick a seductive glance his way, sitting back on his bed in silent challenge.

His eyes roamed down her naked body and a wicked grin broke across his face… and suddenly two enormous white _wings_ sprang from his back to fan out behind him. Rosie nearly jumped out of her skin, the smile dropping from her face. They were huge, the wall of feathers easily spanning half the width of the room; she was dwarfed by them.

“Well that’s murdered the mood, hasn’t it?” His voice was dry as the desert as he looked back over his shoulder. “My apologies… I'm not normally prone to premature unfurling...” Lucifer lightly rolled his shoulders and the wings promptly disappeared. But Rosie knew what she’d seen.

“You’re an angel!” she gasped, awestruck. Sure, it was the most inanely _obvious_ thing she could possibly have said but her brain wasn’t really capable of much else at the moment besides strings of four-letter words which would hardly be appropriate considering whose company she was in.

His gaze was… sinful, and edged with annoyance. “I am _no_ angel. Ask anyone.”

Rosie frowned in confusion. “But… you have wings!”

He waved a dismissive hand. “You shouldn’t judge by appearances. Someone wise once said that. Yoda, I think.”

Still, she bent to scoop up her dress and hold it modestly across herself. Wings = angel = surely sacrilegious to show him her naughty bits.

“So… if you aren’t an angel, what are you?

He smiled rakishly and sidled up close to her. “Lustful. And boringly sober. Drink?” He picked up their forgotten drinks and passed hers over. She slugged the rest of it down, watching him wide-eyed as he nonchalantly sipped his Scotch. A ball of excited nerves twisted in her stomach, and she felt all her senses buzzing fit to overload. Was he doing this to her? He looked so… normal, like any other guy… no, not like any other guy, that much had always been clear; and now she knew why.

He finished his drink and put the empty glass on the bedside table next to hers, then moved to stand right in front of her. She was at eye level with those perfect abs. Wow. And wow, he was tall. And those shoulders. _Phwoar_.

“My bloody wings might pop out again so if they bother you I have a selection of blindfolds you can choose from…” a delighted grin broke over his face as his thumb traced the curve of her mouth. “And _hello_ , we’ve found the upside…”

The conversation seemed to be progressing without her so Rosie hurriedly added, “Er, no, they don’t bother me…” _No,_ bother _isn’t the right word for what they do to me..._

“Excellent. You’re doing very well.” Lucifer took her hands and pulled her to stand next to him. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her; gently at first then his tongue teasingly probed her mouth. He withdrew, then bent his head to nuzzle her nape. His voice was somewhat muffled when he conversationally added, “I’m told this is called ‘acting as if’. That is, acting AS IF that bloody great feathery bucket of cold water never happened and you will come around to the idea that this is really no biggie, and we can carry on having a very nice time.”

Rosie found herself thinking she could be okay with that. Very okay with that. He was sex on legs before, and now, with a pair of wings thrown in he was literally the sex god everyone said he was. And Rosie had always loved the allure and mystery of the supernatural, loved sexy Halloween costumes, perhaps harboured the occasional dark fantasy involving ripped bodices and neck sucking… 

Yes, this would _definitely_ work for her. And she wanted to do something for him too; she _loved_ roleplay; cosplaying with Dee for Comic-Con was the most outrageous thing she’d ever done and she was proud as hell of it.

“Okay, yeah, I’m totally fine with that. And I could dress up like a devil… make it really sexy…”

Instantly his head drew back and the look he gave her was as if she’d just thrown ice water in his crotch.

“I have _no_ desire to have sex with myself!”

“With… yourself?”

“Well you know my name… don’t tell me you haven’t put it together yet?”

 _Lucifer Morningstar - like the Devil - but everyone knows that’s just an act…_ Rosie paled and scuttled backwards away from him, her pulse suddenly hammering in her ears. _But he has wings… he really is the Devil? I’m in the Devil’s lair! Oh shit, I’ve gotta get out of here!_

Rosie screamed and bolted around him for the elevator, nearly falling down the stairs in the process. Her body was already spiked with adrenalin but now an added kick of fear lent her even more speed. Once inside, she frantically pounded the button to go down. She could hear Lucifer calling out to her from his bedroom.

“You’re leaving?! Was it something I said? I haven’t even got the whipped cream out yet…”

The doors closed and the elevator started descending. Rosie looked down and saw her dress still bunched in her hand. She struggled into it and yanked up the zipper, realising with slow-creeping horror that not only did the Devil walk the Earth, he knew that _she knew_ who he was. And she’d just gotten into an elevator over a dozen storeys from the ground.

 _Oh god_ , she thought in a panic, _I’ve seen this movie. He’s gonna make the elevator car fall and break every bone in my body then send a snapped cable flying down the shaft to slice me in half_ … she whimpered in terror, cowering against the doors as close as she could. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the moment the car suddenly plummeted hundreds of feet to her unnatural and untimely death… _ohgod_...

The doors dinged serenely open and she fell out backwards and landed on the floor. In the midst of a chaos of light and sound she looked around in confusion; she was in Lux. And she was alive! She scrambled to her feet and dashed along the raised walkway and down the stairs, pushing past people as she headed as fast as she could for the main doors. It wasn’t far, she just had to get past the clusters of people blocking her path… _get out of my way, damn it!_

One of the bartenders, a big guy with a spiky haircut and bulging, tatted arms spotted her, put down a phone handset, and made a beeline for her. _Oh God,_ she thought in a panic, _Lucifer’s sent one of his followers to kill me._ He probably had some kind of ornate ceremonial knife on him and they were going to collect her blood in some kind of ritual sacrifice… Rosie made a choked sound and backed away, bumping up against the wall. She had nowhere to run, the press of bodies around her was too solid, she couldn’t get through. He leaned in towards her… she opened her mouth to scream...

“You forgot your shoes.” The bartender had to yell a bit over the noise from the DJ booth.

Rosie blinked. “What?”

“Upstairs. Lucifer said you left in a hurry and left your shoes behind. Forgetting your phone is one thing, but you can’t walk around L.A. without something on your feet, huh? You never know what you’ll step in.” The bartender smiled. He had a lip piercing and a dimple.

Rosie’s heart stuttered, stopped, and started again. “Lucifer didn’t tell you to… stop me?”

The handsome face frowned in puzzlement. “Well, yeah - he asked me to tell you about your shoes.”

She pressed on. “But I can leave?”

He started to look a bit impatient, like he was arguing with a stubborn drunk at closing time. He said louder, and slower, “Of course you can, but you left your shoes upstairs. You might need them, yeah?”

Rosie just stared at him. He looked at her for another few seconds, then shrugged and headed back to the bar.

Rosie watched him go, then warily looked around her. Everyone continued drinking, dancing, talking… having a good time. No one was turning into monster-faced demons and trying to grab her, there were no huge black dogs suddenly appearing to tear her throat out, everything just carried on like normal, as if Satan himself wasn’t just a few floors up.

The Devil hadn’t come after her, he hadn’t sent his minions to stop her, the elevator hadn’t flattened or decapitated her, she hadn’t been skewered by a falling pole or fallen off the balcony or had a spotlight fall and split her head open… he was letting her go. Why would he do that? She knew who he was!

This was all too weird. Her initial terror had abated, and her instinct to run battled with her natural curiosity. She didn’t seem to be in any danger, otherwise he would’ve stopped her already, surely? And she really loved those shoes.

She found herself heading back up to the elevator, getting in and pushing the button for the penthouse, all the while internally yelling at herself like she was some dumb chick in a schlocky horror movie who just _had_ to go into the attic to find out what that weird noise was _what do you think you’re doing girl get the hell out of there idiot!_

Lucifer’s smooth voice filtered through the intercom. “Roselyn. Oh good, Jackson found you. Lovely. Come on up.” He must have activated the elevator from upstairs because the doors closed and the car started back up.

Rosie frowned. He sounded so… casual. What was he doing? For that matter, what was _she_ doing?

When she reached the penthouse she cautiously stepped out of the elevator and looked over to see Lucifer, still shirtless, standing by the bar pouring another couple of drinks.

She came right out and asked him. “Why didn’t you come after me?”

He snorted with amusement. “I’m usually the one getting chased, darling. But I don’t play hard to get. There’s plenty for everyone.”

“No, I mean, I know who you are. Aren’t you worried I’ll tell everyone?”

Lucifer waved a dismissive hand. “Not in the slightest. After all, _I_ tell everyone, fat lot of good it does. I wouldn’t recommend you try it though. They seem to think it’s all just part of some ‘act’ as far as I’m concerned, but they’re more likely to give you a suite in the nuthouse. Tried it once; the drugs are nice but the food’s bloody awful.”

“But you _are_ the Devil.” The inflection made it a question.

“Yes. Semi-retired.”

“Is that why you sleep around so much? You’re collecting souls to damn to Hell or something?”

He irritably jerked his head and let out a derisive snort. “Of course not! I sleep around because it’s FUN! Where on earth would you get such a daft idea!” He muttered in annoyance, “Some shitty B-movie no doubt. Ugh, ridiculous...” Rosie couldn’t help but blush a little. Sure it sounded nuts but come on, the guy had _wings_. They were already well out of the realm of the ordinary and her only experience with this sort of thing was, yes, in fact limited to late night horror movies.

Lucifer went on. “I mean I like a bit of pillow talk as much as the next chap but it’s not your _soul_ I’m after, my dear. My interest is far more… anatomical. I would have thought that was fairly obvious by now.” He gestured downwards and raised a meaningful eyebrow.

Rosie blanched. “I can’t have sex with you!”

Lucifer pouted. “Why not?”

“Because you’re the Devil!”

Lucifer frowned at her. “So you were quite willing to sleep with me when you thought I was an angel, but when you find out I’m the Devil you want to bail?” He looked offended. “Prejudiced much?”

Rosie hadn’t actually thought about it like that. “Uh… but... it’d be wrong, wouldn’t it?” she said desperately.

“Why would it? Sex isn’t intrinsically evil, even with me. Anything goes, as long as it’s consensual and everyone does their level best to ensure a shag doesn’t result in any ghastly, unwelcome little parasites.” He shuddered. “Or STDs for that matter.”

He went on, “Even my infuriatingly self-righteous brother has been known to take a trip to pound town on occasion, but believe me darling, you’ll have far more fun with me.”

He has a brother - another angel? _There are angels. And they boink._ Rosie felt faint.

But it couldn’t be as simple as he was making out. He was THE DEVIL for crying out loud!

“Is this a trick?”

“Not unless you were planning on sending me an invoice.”

It took Rosie a second, but she got it. He was _punning_ at a time like this? Was he for real?

“I’m serious!” she yelled. Lucifer looked taken aback.

“So am I!” he replied, with some heat. “I don’t lie. And I certainly don’t need to ‘trick’ anybody into sleeping with me. If you’ve changed your mind so be it, but you’ll be kicking yourself later…”

“How can you be so flippant about this?”

“About what?”

“About…” Rosie waved her hand around at his general person, then gestured vigorously at where his wings had been. “About the fact you’re, like, an angel!”

He scowled and tilted his head at her in mild rebuke.

“Sorry, Devil then!”

“Uh, because that’s just who I am? I realise it’s news to you but shocker, it isn’t for me. So could we just...move on?” He sighed heavily. “Only once before have I had someone come up here for sex and just ended up talking to them the whole time. This never _used_ to happen.” Then he made a wry face and added, “Though neither did people running out of here screaming, but anyway, moving on…”

In spite of everything Rosie found herself smiling. He was just so… not what she expected. She liked that quality in people.  And... er, also angels, because angels were people too, apparently.

Looking at his soulful brown eyes and strong, stubble-shadowed jawline, and thinking of those beautiful, secret wings, she had to admit she found herself… very tempted. Angel or no, the guy was stupid hot and was much nicer than most of her exes. And by all accounts he’d already banged half of LA and the city was still standing; no earthquakes or showers of fire and brimstone, so, maybe it was fine? The Apocalypse would have started by now if it was going to, surely. She’d heard so much about Lucifer Morningstar and while she’d already got a _lot_ more than she’d bargained for, she decided she wanted more. What the Hell; she was game. And she wanted to see if there were any _more_ surprises in store.

He regarded her levelly, a tiny amused comma at the corner of his mouth. “So, Roselyn. What say you?”

In answer she walked over to him, letting her gaze roam appreciatively over his lean, toned body. She ran her hands up and across his smooth, well-muscled chest and back. Her mouth quirked in a cheeky smile, she pressed herself up against him and murmured, “Uh… how about, ‘get thee behind me, Satan’?”

Lucifer’s deep chuckle sent delicious shivers up her spine and her stomach fluttered. He lowered his head to nuzzle behind her ear, then lay a row of kisses along her collarbone, his stubble pleasurably rough on her delicate skin.

“Hmmm…” he murmured approvingly, sweeping her hair over her shoulder and sucking lightly on her ear. “Don’t mind if I do.”

Rosie leaned into him, scrunching her fingers in his black hair to bring him closer. He moved slowly around behind her, sliding the cool silk of her dress from her shoulders and down the length of her body with agonizing slowness. He let it once again drop to the floor, brushing up her bare skin lightly with the backs of his large, warm hands before grasping her hips in a grip of iron. Rosie let out a little moan and arched backwards into him. She vaguely heard a thump and a rustling sound and knew his wings had appeared again, but found she wasn’t afraid any more. On the contrary; she felt quite pleased with herself.

One thing was for sure; Dee was _never_ going to believe this.

**Author's Note:**

> \- For SueBob99 for being so very lovely and supportive with supplying my comment crack. And also because she likes Lucifer interacting with one-off characters too!  
> \- Based off a quick scene from one of the trailers for episode 302. This is my second oneshot based off a promo and I’m quite enjoying them. I waited to post this one until after the episode aired, just in case there was any hive mind activity going on, though I was pretty sure she’d either run for it or it’ll be a non-event because Lucifer would crack the shits with his wings. Annnd the latter it was. :( but 'whack-a-mole' indeed :D  
> \- Yes, Rosie totally thinks she’s in an ‘Omen’ movie, where human threats to the Prince of Darkness meet with untimely and creatively gruesome ends. Fun fact: the priest in The Omen (1976) (who btw is impaled by the lightning rod from the roof of his church) is Patrick Troughton, aka the man who played the Second incarnation of our favourite Time Lord the Doctor.  
> \- The woman who’s getting busy with Lucifer and sees his wings in the promo isn’t listed in IMDB with a character name so I made one up. I didn’t use the actress’ own name because it’s… wait for it… Brittany. :’D


End file.
